“They are crazy sociopaths, they are not normal, they are violent, they do not fit in society, their behavior is not appropriate, they bring shame to our country, they should be imprisoned or killed.” These are a few words most people use to judge far-right or Islamist radical extremists. However, these judgments only scratch the surface of the stories about the lives of these people we know nothing about.

Unfortunately most people are ignorant, careless in their own bubbles and can only understand from their perspectives, thus if they never experienced one issue, they will not be able to understand other people’s suffering. Even if some people have enough empathy, they will not always have the energy to deal with other people’s problems. The world is not always a pleasant place to be in and if you do not have close family or friends to rely on, it is not surprising you may turn to other alternatives.

Empathy for other human beings is not easy for most people, while empathy for extremist human beings is definitely the hardest. In addition, extremist fighters without emotions are probably the worst case scenario. Why would you feel emphathy for another human being who kills? While this is rational thinking, of course it is easier to help these people before they reach the tipping point in their lives toward violence and then ruin and risk their lives. Perhaps after such actions, some of them may change perspective and return to a normal life, but many of them will probably stay miserable.

But why do they even consider becoming an extremist in some kind of form? The answers lie deep within them. For many people, usually their childhood is the determinant that makes or breaks people. People with a great childhood are given a strong foundation to their next levels of life, while people with childhood traumas may have a lot harder time in life from which they can come out stronger if they have or given certain tools or sink even lower without support. Childhood traumas may damage essential parts of a human being, such as their self-worth, sense of belonging, confidence, feeling secure or ability to love.

Such early experiences may lead to further problems throughout their lives as they lack core strengths and have toxic behavior patterns. These may include exclusion from certain part of society such as school or being made fun at the workplace, victimhood, being involved in violence, hurting other people, exploiting others, etc.

We cannot really help them fight their own demons, but we may be able to give them tools, support in their journey. It is their choice, their responsibility to change even if they did not do anything wrong to disperse the dark clouds lingering over them.